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For a long time, I struggled to explain to people what was actually happening to my body during a rheumatoid arthritis (RA) flare.

I knew what it felt like — the pain, the stiffness, the unpredictability — but putting that experience into words that made sense to someone who didn’t live in my body felt impossible. A few years ago, I finally sat down and wrote it all out. I created visuals, metaphors, and explanations that helped bridge the gap between lived experience and understanding.

This post is that explanation.

(You can also find this information on my website as a free downloadable resource, including a Part Two that goes even deeper.)

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Life With RA Has a Baseline — and Then There Are Flares

Most people with rheumatoid arthritis live with a baseline level of symptoms. This becomes our “new normal.”

That baseline can include:

• Ongoing fatigue
• A general feeling of being unwell
• Certain joints that are almost always problematic (often hands or feet)

A flare is an increase in these symptoms — sometimes subtle, sometimes severe, sometimes life‑altering.

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How Long Does an RA Flare Last?

One of the hardest parts of rheumatoid arthritis is how unpredictable flares can be.

A flare can last:

• A few hours
• Several days
• Weeks
• Or even months

Flares can also start very suddenly. You might wake up feeling okay, go to work, and by the end of the day be unable to drive home because your knee, hip, or foot flared without warning.

A flare may affect:

• One single joint
• Multiple joints at once
• Different joints throughout the same day

This is why people with RA often cancel plans, hesitate to commit to future events, and are sometimes misunderstood or accused of exaggerating.

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“But You Looked Fine Yesterday” — Why RA Is So Confusing to Others

Because symptoms fluctuate so quickly, someone might see you struggling one day and doing something fun the next.

From the outside, that can look inconsistent.From the inside, it’s just reality.

RA symptoms don’t follow a predictable pattern — and that inconsistency is part of the disease itself.

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A Simple Way to Understand an RA Flare

To explain what’s happening during a flare, imagine a scale.

Pain

Pain exists on a spectrum:

• On one end: mild discomfort, manageable, you can move and function
• On the other: severe, overwhelming pain that requires medical intervention

Stiffness

Stiffness also exists on a spectrum:

• On one end: full mobility
• On the other: joints that feel frozen, swollen, and impossible to move

Here’s the key part:

Pain and stiffness don’t always increase together.

You might have:

• Severe pain but decent mobility
• Extreme stiffness with surprisingly little pain

Now imagine this scale doesn’t exist just once — it exists for every single joint in your body.

Each joint is doing its own thing.

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Why Symptoms Can Change Hour by Hour

You might wake up with:

• A completely frozen, painful shoulder

By evening:

• That shoulder feels fine
• The other shoulder is now inflamed
• Your knee has joined the party

Some people notice certain times of day when symptoms tend to worsen, but many flares don’t follow any recognizable pattern at all.

That unpredictability is one of the most exhausting parts of RA.

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Why Treating RA Flares Matters

It’s important not to let flares go untreated for long periods of time.

If you’re experiencing a flare that you can’t manage at home for more than a few days, it’s important to contact your rheumatologist.

Your doctor may need to:

• Prescribe steroids
• Adjust anti‑inflammatory medications
• Reevaluate or change your treatment plan

Active flares can mean active joint damage — and damage from rheumatoid arthritis is not reversible.

Getting help early matters.

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Final Thoughts

If you live with rheumatoid arthritis and struggle to explain your flares to others, you’re not alone.

And if you’re someone trying to understand what a loved one is experiencing — thank you for wanting to learn.

You can find free, easy‑to‑read downloadable resources on FlareFamily.com that explain how RA flares work and help start these conversations.

If you have questions, feel free to leave a comment or reach out. Understanding is powerful — and it’s something we all deserve.